Sabrina Voice - refined anecdote

Sabrina’ s Voice – Refined Anecdote

There was one time I was at the bus stop with students from the class and we were all going home. As we were waiting for the bus, they were verbally bashing another person, a girl, who was also a class member.  I cannot remember the specifics but something was going on in class and when we went to the bus stop everyone started freaking out on her. She was not there so it was more like they were gossipping about her and it made me feel very uncomfortable.

Normally, I would not have even thought about it or I would have let it go saying, “oh well it doesn't matter; don't say anything Sabrina; don’t cause any problems - keep your mouth shut.” 

It just bothered me so much!  I just remember feeling, ‘why are they acting like this?’  I am here to get better. I got scared because then I was worried about what they were doing to the stories that I was sharing in class. Is it going to be brought out behind my back when I am not there?

I remember I had to talk about. I felt horrible; I felt hurt; I felt sad. They were all nice to her,  but as soon as she was not there she became the topic of attack and they totally ripped her apart.  It just made me feel very sad and very awful for the other person as well as questioning the why of their behaviour?  I guess why it bothered me so much actually, when I think about it, was because I was so afraid to talk to anyone; about anything.  When I heard someone being bullied I was ready to clam up; go inside myself; be quiet.  I got freaked out and thought, ‘the minute I am not around they will do the same thing to me!’  

(Class check-in is a daily morning COPE/MECA curriculum practice where students share their feelings and concerns, one at time, with their class members.  This is facilitated with a hand held ‘talking stone’ to designate speaker and encourage attentive and respectful listening skills)

Class check- in was just the place to talk about it, as we were talking about the classroom guidelines and this would fit into the topic perfectly.  I glanced around the room and got support for myself, practised being in the moment, because my mind goes a million miles an hour, and I began to share the story.  Instead of suppressing it in my head, throat and gut I was able to talk about my worries, to share my feelings and opinions and to have my voice heard.

After I finished sharing, I received class affirmation.  To watch the expressions on their faces, their statements of “oh really!", and then their comments about “how great my comments were and I was for speaking up”.  They were speaking to me! I had to look at myself and say “OK, I did have something important to say and I was listened to! I wasn't talking to the wall or talking to someone with deaf ears.  I was heard!”

“Wow”, I remember thinking; I can't believe this; everything was just coming out of me, so naturally, without any fear.  I cannot even describe the feeling! It was such a beautiful, freeing feeling.  I knew I would never be silent again.  I had found my voice… or my voice had found me. 

Thanks for your feedback last week.  Look forward to work we will do this week.

Iris